just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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