martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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