if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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