worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
