talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
