margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
