11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
