Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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