Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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