You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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