he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
