she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
