summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
