I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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