the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
