arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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