yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
