I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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