Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
