I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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