I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
