using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
