Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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