At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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