We're like a lot better than the average bears
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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