You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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