it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
