oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
