Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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