I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
