Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm too high and old for this...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
