Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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