First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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