I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
