hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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