Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
