I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I could fuck to npr.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize