I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
