it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
