i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
