I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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