Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My liver just broke up with me...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
