dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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