I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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