Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
