You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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