I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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