I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
