I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I want a musical about memes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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