I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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